Angela Merkel swigs a cold, frothy pilsner, celebrating her Christian Democratic Union’s outstanding victory in provincial elections in Saarland today.
Afghan soldiers demonstrate to Angela Merkel, on her surprise trip to a German NATO base in Afghanistan earlier this month, how they might have dealt with alleged terrorism planner Ahmad Wali Siddiqui, an Afghan-German who now says he hoped to join the jihad.
Merkel and her military cohorts all up licked their lips at the sight of it.
Stoic and stone-faced, Angela Merkel spent the last two years scoffing at 72-year-old Joachim Gauck’s presidential candidacy. The former East German civil rights activist and pastor, concerned mainly with freedom and expressing his emotions — at times tearfully — did not easily win over his staid fellow East German.
But today the legislature overwhelmingly elected him president in the first round of voting, replacing Christian Wulff, Merkel’s homeboy, who resigned amid controversy.
While enjoying the support of Merkel’s coalition partners the Free Democratic Party, Gauck is an independent.
“Now, I know you’re excited to finally have my support,” Merkel said to Gauck in the photo above. “But don’t cry about it. Jesus Christ, you’re East German. Don’t cry.”
Angela Merkel cannot hide her disdain after her friend, International Monetary Fund managing director Christine Lagarde, insisted the chancellor was not invited to her birthday unless she forks over more cash to battle Greek debt.
Making a surprise visit to a German base in northern Afghanistan Monday, Angela Merkel forms her fingers into a pistol shape, asking one of her military commanders if “we can really pull out by 2014, with these reckless cowboy Americans gunning down civilians?”
There are currently 4,800 German soldiers in Afghanistan, making Merkel’s military the third largest presence in the country after the United States and United Kingdom.
Never before has Der Spiegel been so dead-on with its epithet after “Chancellor Killjoy” Angela Merkel exited an EU summit sternly insisting this is no time for buckling down, not for optimism.
The closing statement of the European Union summit that the leaders of the 27 member states approved on Friday filled a total of 15 pages. It included 24 mentions of the word “growth,” and only referred to a “crisis” once. The language underscores the direction Europe’s politicians would actually like to be heading.
“No, see, my Russian counterpart evidently won this election justly,” Angela Merkel said, responding to a critical journalist asking whether she believes Russian Prime Minister Vladimir V. Putin’s presidential election was fair.
Mr. Putin could hardly hold back laughter.
Angela Merkel had this 21-year-old butterfingers waiter executed out back after calmly and coolly brushing the lager from her hair.
After a brief hiatus, Angela Merkel, freshly inundated with Greek woes, is back!
